I guess everyone thinks i am jerk now
everytime i walk in singapore polytechnic everyone thinks i am jerk
even SPSU think that i am a stupid jock
even in band i guess
i suck to the core playing the clarinet
i feel so ashamed and i just feel like quiting
i love music no doubt
but i just don't want to live up to people expectations
and whenever i failed them, they think i am a jerk
haiz, damn, fuck...
that's how i explain it now in my life

yesterday the Tok Imam told me something so important that it has clouded me so much
be grateful
be grateful for the things you have
your family
your friends
and most impportantly, yourself
i am grateful to have what i have right now
i have a wonderful family
i have great friends, both old and new
and especially i love myself eventhough sometimes blame myself for the things i can't do...
thank you ALLAH!
eventhough i don't seem to appreciate it i do
and especially thank you for sending amirah to me to talk to me whenever i feel down
she has been a great friend and a great motivator
hahhahhas
thank you
you taught to me to love again
but its hard when i fall in love with you....